I've been trying to come up with a word to describe her. Joy is the one I keep coming back to. The title of this particular blog is from Psalm 94:19. We were talking earlier today, reflecting back on where we both were when we first met more than three years ago now. Anxiety was running rampant in me. Then comes this 5 foot 2 inch blonde light of joy. I told her at the time we met it was like this triune of perfect events coming together at the perfect time. I finally got out of God's way and let Him go to work on my shattered heart. I met Lindsay, and three days later I leave for Colorado. I talk about that trip, that area a lot. But it really has nothing to do with football, not even the scenery. Sure it's amazing (the scenery, although the football's getting better), but that isn't what draws me there. It's where I feel most whole. But none of those things; God, Lindsay, or the Rockies would've changed me the way they did without the other. I wouldn't have met Lindsay without God's grace. I would've had a much harder time believing Him if I hadn't met her. Colorado would've just been scenic if I hadn't been shown His hand on it. It would've been the only beauty I really believed in if I hadn't met Lindsay. I guess the reason the word "joy" keeps coming to mind is it's the one word that best describes her to me. She gets such joy from others' joy. You should see her when she finds a present for someone that she thinks is just right. She can't wait to give it to them. We had dinner not long ago with friends of ours who had some really awesome news to share. Lindsay couldn't wait to...celebrate...with them (I have to be vague because we were asked to keep it quiet for now). But it's not just presents and gifts. She has a true interest in me. She loves seeing me excited. Heaven knows how burnt out she must be already with football, but she knows I enjoy it, and she not only puts up with it being on the tv, she's interested and involved. She finds her joy in mine.
She's got her own joy too. She's worked so hard at so many things lately. From a weight loss competition to getting a new job to parts in musicals, she's really been overwhelmed with blessings the last few weeks. And it's so awesome to watch her, in her joy.
I've never seen anything like her. And I've seen a lot of cool stuff. My joy is having her be the first thing I see each morning, and the last thing I see each day. My joy is at the end of the day when she walks in and Sheba jumps up from her 43rd nap of the day to greet her. Most days I'll suddenly have joy fall right into my lap as I sit my chair. Just for a hug. That's my joy. She has seen me at low points. A lot of them. Each time, she makes me feel like going through that and asking for her to help me was the right thing to do. She's not afraid to walk into the fire with me.
When it's our turn, I know her biggest joy will come from a bottle, a blankie, and a bedtime lullaby. I don't know if there's anyone who will love their child with more joy than she will. I don't know that there's ever been a wife that has ever loved a husband with more joy than she already has.
People are drawn to her. In ways that I can completely understand, and wish in so many ways I could duplicate. She is a light. Things are better when she's around. Pain is softened and shortened when she's near. Joy is emphasized and eternal when she's near. I could've survived the last three years without knowing her. Sure. But I don't think that I would have enjoyed them like I have. There's that word again.
