"If I die, don't you dare play 'Go Rest High' and dedicate it to me!!"

Friday, May 16th is a day a lot of people around here remember, for the wrong reason. On that day in 2002, my friend, your friend, our friend, Paul Franklin was taken from us. See, that's the gut reaction description. His work was finished here. He did a lot of good work. He influenced many a man, boy, woman, girl. And on 5/16/2002, he was called away. For some reason we've chosen to mark the anniversary of the accident that took his, and two other wonderful souls-Tom and Isolda Temples in the same accident. I don't really understand why the day that they left us is more noticed than the day he was born, or the day he first became a father, the day he won one of three CMA awards. I can promise you from the inside, those were much more joyful days. We will, along with many others tomorrow, cry a little bit, but hopefully laugh a whole lot more. The number one thing I hear from listeners when they come to see us at events and appearances, "It just hasn't been the same since...". They're absolutely right. Rather than letting that reflect an emptiness in our lives, I'd rather it reflect the presence that we had once. The reason we feel a void now is because Paul was that special, that rare and a 6 foot, five inch gift. We are not less for not having him with us today, we're more for ever having the chance to cross paths with him. Would it be better if he were still with us? Maybe. But who am I to ask someone to leave the side of Jesus now that he's truly home.
CS Lewis wrote a journal after his wife (who he refers to as "H") passed away from cancer. In "A Grief Observed", he writes:

Praise is the mode of love which always has some element of joy in it. Praise in due order; of Him as the giver, of her as the gift. Don't we in praise somehow enjoy what we praise, however far we are from it? I must do more of this. I have lost the fruition I once had with H. And I am far, far away in the valley of my unlikeness, from the fruition which, if His mercies are infinite, I may some time have of God.. But by praising I can still, in some degree, enjoy her, and already, in some degree, enjoy Him. Better than nothing.

If you'd like to see pictures and hear old audio clips of Paul, please visit here.

Babies here, babies there, babies everywhere!

There's a saying around the station (and probably other places) that says bad things (deaths) come in three's. Well, I have good news, sometimes babies do too! While I'm going to have a tough time working Colorado into this post, (no wait, that picture of Kory and me was taken in Denver...whew!!), I'm so thrilled to share the news that my friend of over 25 years, my brother in Christ, one of my favorite people in the world, is about to have his first child. His wife Blair (who also is one of my favorite people in the world) is due in December. As of last night, everyone is doing just fine. She's already having crazy cravings. I'm just so thrilled for them both, it'll be their first.



It'll be the second child for my boy Tom White. I can pretty much copy all of the things I said about Kory, and apply them to Tom. With the exception of how long I've known him. They both will be just phenomenal fathers. Tom has a little more experience than Kory does, but I'm not worried at all about any of these kids. They will be surrounded by love, strength, wisdom, and compassion. They are in the best of hands.

Also I found out this week that my friend Jill in Cary is expecting as well. See, good things come in three's as well!!

"So what is it you guys do?"

...is the question I often get when I talk about my "small group", "band of brothers", whatever you want to call it. The group of men I get together with every Thursday night. And sometimes times away from Thursday night. We get together, we eat. We catch up. And as the meal is setlling, this is our purpose. One of my brothers, Matt, found this. And it's a perfect description of what we're trying to do:

A band of brothers is a group of men who were tired of life as usual. Men who were tired of feeling weak and ashamed and addicted to whatever brings a temporary escape from the pain, emptiness...or boredom. Men who wanted to come through for their wives, their children, their friends and their God, but whose lives were marked by frustration, depression, insecurity, and failure.

A band of brothers is a group of men who were tired of pretending. And so they stopped. They found a few other men with whom they could be completely transparent, guys with whom they could unload about all their shame and failures, all their fears, and all their weaknesses...men who, when they were done spilling their guts, would still be standing there saying, "What else you got?"

A band of brothers is a group of men who have traded their weakness for Christ's strength and their self-obsession for Christ's selflessness. Men who daily fight for one another, trading the enemy's lies with God's truth. They've joined arms with one another and joined ranks with eternity's Freedom Fighter, Jesus Christ. In Him they fight for the freedom of their wives, children and friends. It has become their life's passion, mission and purpose. Unified in Christ, these bands of brothers move with humility and courage towards total surrender, total trust and total commitment to the One who gives LIFE and who has overcome death.

A band of brothers is a group of men who've tasted the abundant life Christ came to bring. They've begun to realize their place in God's story. And now they want more...for themselves, for their families and friends, all for the glory of God.

The term 'band of brothers' was coined by Shakespeare in Henry V

"We few, we happy few, we band of brothers.
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition.
And gentlemen in England, now a-bed,
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here;
And hold their manhoods cheap, whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day."


It really is the coolest thing. Look for it, there are more who want more.

Joys in My Life

Yesterday was such a nice day! The weather was perfect and I had my first "happy" rehearsal with the musical. I actually got to hang out with just the girls and dance and had a great time! Above is a picture of me and Marc in Jamaica under the Bottlebrush tree. Now before we left my brother told me, "Every time you go under the bottlebrush tree you have to kiss." Marc loved the idea and so did I of course when we got there our butler looked at us like we had lost out mind the first time we went under it and stopped to kiss. She said that wasnt a true saying. Oh well we continued it throughout the honeymoon. So joys in my life. I love being able to spend time with people who have kids! They are just so much fun. I love hanging out with friends for dinner or games or even just an afternoon of hiking. I love the stage. I love feeding off of the audience and hearing them clap or laugh or even cry at something you are portraying on stage! I love waterfalls and being able to hear the sound they make. Sometimes a loud thunderous noise and sometime just an wonderful tiny trickle. They are all amazing to me. I love my husband. I love the way that he will expose himself to me and trust me with his heart. So anyways I just wanted to write about a few things that make me happy because yesterday was a very good day!

"I am well pleased"

No, I didn't tell her to write that. And no, she didn't get that picture from me. But I'm sure pumped that my wife, my best friend, one of the best things (short of salvation) that's ever happened to me, is just as stoked about a trip to my most cherished place in the world as I am. I don't know what excites me more. That I get to go. That I get to go with her. That I get to go with her and it makes her heart come alive. But as excited as I am. As annoyingly excited as I am (I always have to point out a Colorado license plate when we're going down the road, I really can be obnoxious about it), there is one thing that I love looking at more than Rocky Mountain National Park - Emerald Lake included.

I love watching my wife love things. The last two nights I've been treated to a real treat. Most nights watching American Idol I want to go sit in the oven for a while to distract me from the pain of the show (but I have to watch it, so I make the best). But this week they had Andrew Lloyd Weber on. Broadway songs. I, like probably most people watching didn't know a single word of a single song. My wife did. She even guessed right on most of who was going to do what. She....LOVES Broadway. She loves being a part of musicals. She loves being on stage and performing. Hiking is to me as the theatre is to her. And to get to watch her watch that, was just great. Then the next night we saw the musical "Rent". It was in town and she mentioned wanting to see it. Luckily I was paying attention in that moment and got us tickets. I didn't get most of the play. I mean I think I got it, but there were parts I was lost. And I was really trying. But every now and then I'd glance beside me and see Lindsay's face. That...that daze she was in. That pure joy and fire that ignites when she either watches musicals (much less performs in them), that is simply the most special thing I've ever witnessed. And I've seen some pretty cool stuff. So ask me my favorite sights of all time up to this point. #2, without a doubt, Emerald Lake. #3, Lone Pine Lake. You get the point. But as good as those are, they're laps behind watching my beautiful wife enjoy something. Watching her come alive...makes Broadway cool.

Oh...I almost forgot....

One Place I would Rather Be.......

I know Marc is going to love this one. I am so ready to go out to Colorado it is eating at me! I am ready to get away from all of the things that weigh us down here in NC. Being able to just get out in the middle of no where and experience things the way God intended them. His beauty. His amazing eye for detail. His knowledge of my love for waterfalls and making them more amazing than one can imagine in Colorado. I am just ready to get to experience silence. I cannot remember the last time I was able to just sit and enjoy God's creation and love for us by providing us an amazing playground. As some of you know I went to Western Carolina University. I loved being in the mountains because I could just get away and enjoy the beauty God created. It was amazing. I have been reading lately where there is a lot of development going on up there. There is some big company wanting to make 3 golf courses and build 200 plus homes on 4,000 acres of land. I cannot imagine trying to get away and experience the peace of what God created while looking out over a mountain top and seeing huge houses and not land God created. People are so greedy with wanting to have a bigger house and more this and more that but they do not even take a look at what is being used now. If people would take a moment to look at the houses that sit vacant or the golf courses that no one is really playing on they would see why there would be no reason to build a new one. I guess I just dont understand how someone can build something brand new beside something that is already there and not being used. Take strip malls for example: There are so many places where businesses have gone out of business and left a big parking lot and huge open building. Why is it that these companies cannot put less money into changing the standing structure into what they want it to look like. I mean it will only be a few years before that business goes down in flames as well. I just dont see the need to build new houses when we have hit a 16 year low on new home sales. I am thankful for National Park Land that does not get touched but why would someone want to go to a National Park to look out across the untouched land when they will soon be looking at someones huge million dollar house or golf course. I just think it is not needed. Sorry to ramble but I am just tired of people abusing the land we were put here to protect and live off of.

The best loves are sometimes the hardest to accept

I can't help but wonder, how many times have I just missed it? How many times have I missed Lindsay's heart? How many times have I been so caught up in myself and what I want to do, what's important to me in the moment that I just blow it? Not that she would complain. That's what makes it so self frustrating. She's not hard to make happy. She's not highly demanding. We've had talks of moving to Colorado (pictured left...like you didn't know that), and she is just so supportive and ready to pack the bags. Yet I can just about promise you, day after day, I miss an opportunity. It's not blatant. It's not even on purpose. The day can drain me some days. The mental, spiritual and physical fatigue, I often use as a subconscious scapegoat. "Just let me get to the weekend, and we can spend some real time together away from the tv. Just let us get refreshed and then I'll experience her." But then the weekend gets here and often times, I find another excuse.

I tell her often that she's pretty. I don't do it out of obligation, I do it because I look her and think, "there's the feminine image of God, right here in front of me." I tell her I love her all the time. Sometimes I'll tell her that, she'll answer back, and we'll go back to being silent. Or going back to talking about whatever we were talking about. There's a line from a movie, "I got so busy trying to do my job, that I forgot to do my job." I wonder how often I don't do my job as a husband well enough. I can never do it to the level she deserves, only Jesus could love her as much as she deserves. Do I lead her spiritually enough? I can honestly tell you we don't pray together as much as we should. We'll both tell you that if we speak with any semblance of honesty. And I'm not even going to use the "well it's hard to love someone everyday" cop out, because that's exactly what it is. She loves me well. Everyday. So it's not that it's hard so it's ok to not, she doesn't ever fall back on that. And it's not that I'm horrible to her. I really do think I'm pretty good. But as good as I can possibly be, I'm still going to miss it sometimes. As intentional as I can be, there are still going to be moments that I don't get it right. I try really hard. I don't always try hard enough though. And it scares me because she is so loving, so understanding, so patient, and so unselfish that she may not point out those times to me, causing me to miss them all over again.

In the first few weeks we were married I drove myself crazy trying to think of new and creative ways to show her how special she was to me. I didn't want to ever take her for granted, I didn't want to get lazy so I'd beat my head against the wall trying to be so clever, that I'd miss time with her or moments where she just wanted me. And I really think that's been one of the more difficult lessons to learn. I should say to believe. That I really am enough for her. I don't have to be clever or grandiose all the time. Once in a while, sure, she likes being swept away as much as the next girl. But she doesn't need it. Not every day. She just wants the intimacy. She just wants the relationship.

And then it dawns on me, that's a lot like my walk with God. I don't have to come to church dressed up in a suit and tie to have a relationship with Him. I don't have to sing along with every song in order for Him to want to know me. Lindsay doesn't need a bubble bath every night to love me. After a while it would be about the obligation and the routine rather than the heart of it. Same thing with God. If I'm just going to church because that's what you do on Sunday mornings, then I'll miss Him. But if I go to really worship Him, really try to connect with Him, really try to learn about Him through the message, that's what He's after. He's a lot like Lindsay that way. Lindsay's a lot like Him that way. They both just want me. As my good friend Steve Lynam says, "Taking me as I am without leaving me where I am." It's hard to believe sometimes that Lindsay really will love me just because. Sound familiar?