I have no idea

I know what you're thinking, "Hey wait, that's not Colorado." You're good.

About to fall asleep last night, I'm flipping around the channels because "The Daily Show" wasn't having one of its best nights. I come across "The Pursuit of Happyness". It's a Will Smith movie from a couple of years ago where he plays this (eventually) single dad living in San Francisco, struggling to make it. And by make I don't mean, make the NFL. Make it in Hollywood. I'm talking about "I'm not sure if we're going to be able to eat tomorrow" make it. I don't want to tell the whole movie, but there's a point, maybe it's the low point (at least one of them) where Will's character, (Chris) and his son in the movie (who by the way is his son in real life as well) have to spend the night in a subway bathroom. Sleeping on the floor of a underground railroad bathroom because they've been kicked out of multiple hotels and apartments because Chris can't pay the rent. Chris' son somehow falls asleep, and as someone comes to the bathroom door, tries to get in but can't because Chris locked the door from the inside, Chris begins to cry. I guess in the moment he was afraid more that someone was going to tell him he and his son couldn't sleep there. That yet again, they'd have to find somewhere else to go. I imagine that was the fear more than someone was going to harm either of them.

And then it dawns on me as I start to tear up with Chris, I have no clue what that is. I know Will Smith hasn't always been as "fortunate" as he has EARNED himself to be now, but I don't know that he really truly, deep down has any clue what that is. I can promise you I don't. I have no idea what it's like to hope that someone doesn't tell me that I can't sleep on the floor of a public bathroom because I don't know where else me and my four year old (I'm guessing on the age but it doesn't really matter) son can sleep. My idea of struggling now is having both the Broncos and the Tarheels lose on the same weekend. To say I have it good, well, it's kind of insulting. And this isn't one of those, "count your blessings this Thanksgiving" blogs. Those kind of annoy me...no offense if you have or are planning to write one. But it just hit me when I saw that scene, man, I don't have any idea what it's like to be scared like that. To be hopeless like that. That's purely a credit to my parents. And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm going to have a yard sale tomorrow, give away all my worldly possessions so I can really appreciate what it is to relate to those who have lived the story of the man in the movie, some without a happy ending. I like my Direct TV and I don't have to apologize for it. But I think while I don't think God is really asking me to strip down all of my possessions to a bed, some clothes and a couple of loaves of bread, He is asking me to realize that it can all be taken away. For not necessarily doing anything wrong.

Recently there's been a lot in the news about the "Big Three" automakers going to the government asking for I think a $25 billion bailout. The CEO of Ford Motor Corporation, when a congressman asked if he (the CEO) would consider reducing his million dollar salary to help his own company, his employees out instead of part of a $25 billion taxpayer bailout. Paraphrasing, "No, no I think I'm ok where I'm at." This guy has never seen "The Pursuit of Happyness". If he has, he was too busy counting hundred dollar bills to pay any attention. I'm not offended by what he said on my behalf, I'm ok. I'm offended by what he said on behalf of the Chris Hudson's of the world.

But what's more than the offense that I took from that, is the inspiration I get. Not from Will Smith in a movie, although it is a good movie. I get the inspiration from friends that I have that have been in similar situations. One in particular. Lost their income. A very young child to take care of. And he'll tell you he was worried at times. Not "subway bathroom floor" worried, but worried. While he wasn't worry free, his faith was remarkable. He just knew God was going to provide. And now He is. If this blog is wondering and direction-less, you know what it's like to have been in my head since I flipped the channel on this movie last night.

I turned it off before the fear of being in a similar position kept me up all night. I'd seen it before, so I know what happens. But I can't help but watch that and think, "Do I have enough strength to fight through the way the guy in the movie did? Do I have the strength that my friend that I mentioned does? Other friends I didn't mentioned who've had similar stories. Those that I don't know that have had similar stories?" I don't know. I like to think I do, but I don't know. All I know is I have no idea what it looks like to be in the middle of that storm. And I am, yes, incredibly thankful that I don't. Dang it, and I told myself this wasn't going to be one of those types of blogs. Anyway, I guess this was just a really long way of thanking my parents, for not ever letting me sleep on the floor of a subway bathroom. I never came close.